I can't be a guardian right now because of reasons
by Darkanny
Summary: Hello, this is Jack Frost, I can't accept the job because my boyfriend will kill me if I don't get home right now to take care of something, leave your message after the beep! *beep*
1. Chapter 1

As soon as all the movement had stopped, Jack peeked through the mouth of the sack, staring at the tiny elves grinning at him, chasing them away with his scowl. He heard someone ask for silence and then he saw them; the last group of people he thought would be kidnapping him, right in front of him.

"There he is!" Santa—or how was it that he was called, North?-announced, opening his arms in a welcoming gesture that did nothing for Jack. "Jack Frost!"

Jack managed to scramble out of the burlap sack half-way, staring at the short man of sand and the flickering fairy looking back at him next to North. "You gotta be kidding me" He said, shouting when two yetis grabbed his arms and lifted him up and out of the sack to stand on his feet, shrugging off the one that patted his back.

"I hope the yetis treated you well" North said, although it sounded kind of like a half-question.

Jack smiled with what could only be described as passive aggressiveness. "Oh yeah" He kicked his staff back up into his hand, poising it against his shoulder as he stepped forward. "I love being shoved in a sack and tossed through a magic portal" He frowned at the end of the sentence, glaring at the bearded man. He had other things to do right now, if he was held here he was gonna get killed...

North laughed and proceeded with the introductions, the Easter Bunny—who seemed more interested in his claws than in their guest-, Sandman and the Tooth Fairy. After managing to get the half-bird's finger out of his mouth, and a good amount of flailing around, Jack raised his hand, asking for silence, which was given with just the right amount of surprise from the Guardians, because, well, they expected for the spirit to let them do all the talking, was Jack already informed of the situation?

"Yeah, okay, this gathering is niiice and all but" He waved his hand around, trying to find his words. "..okay, the truth is I have no idea why you guys brought me here-"

"Been askin' the same thing" Bunny muttered from his place, still fixed on his claws, as if trying to make the whole scenario disappear.

"-I just wanted you to know" The ice spirit continued, putting emphasis in his words, glaring at the rabbit. "That I really need to get out of here, PRONTO" He looked at each guardian, trying to get the point across. "Okay? So, if any of you could be so kind to show me the nearest window, that'd be great, thank you"

Sandy nodded happily and started drifting away, but was stopped by North's hand on his shoulder. The small man huffed and went off to chase the nearest yeti carrying a tray of eggnog.

"Jack, I don't think you should leave so soon" Tooth said, flying around the teen quickly, her hands drawn to her chest. "We really need you here right now" The tiny fairies surrounding her nodded in agreement, chirping rapidly to their Queen.

"And reason is, you have been chosen!" North bellowed, once again moving his tattooed arms around ominously.

"Wha-chosen for what?!" Jack was completely lost. He had been peacefully strolling around Burgess, not causing trouble for anyone when a noise had caught his attention and he found himself herded into an alley by the Kangaroo himself, not having time to excuse himself before the pair of yetis grabbed him and sent him through the wildest loop of his 300 years. He had somewhere else to be right now and if he didn't make it...

"My friend" The jolly man said, voice grave and oddly proud. "You have been chosen by Man in the Moon himself! You, Jack Frost, are now Guardian!" He finished loudly, just as, for some reason that Jack did not want to now, hundreds of elves appeared out of absolutely nowhere, some carrying trumpets and playing them while they marched in something that had definitely been rehearsed a lot, including yetis doing some kind of thing with batons on fire and even some of the tooth fairies participating in the weirdest intent of a parade Jack had ever seen.

Jack tried to dodge whoever got too close to him, giving the eye at the elves that tried to get him to put on a pair of ridiculous blue shoes, and talking off the yeti that caught him as he walked backwards to avoid the fairies approaching with some sort of necklace resembling those people wore at Luaus. He saw another yeti marching up to North with a thick book and he knew that was it.

He raised his staff in the air and brought it down to hit the floor, right when North was about to start his speech about whatever being a guardian was. Jack didn't want any of that right now, thank you.

The elves slid away when the floor froze over, the strong winds summoned making the guardians and yetis lose their balance and stare at him in surprise.

"What makes you think I want to be a Guardian?" He asked, angry at the lack of any inquiry about his opinion in the subject.

Santa looked at him wide eyed before starting to laugh, so loud even Bunny smiled a bit before remembering who exactly was the one in front of them, his usual scowl returning. "Of course you do" The man said simply. "Music!"

"NO music!" Jack ordered as soon as the elves started playing again, causing one of them to throw his instrument and stomp off angrily. "Look guys, I really appreciate the chance and all but...truth is, I don't wanna be a guardian, I'm not material for the job"

"That's exactly what I said!" Bunny said, elbowing North meaningfully.

"Besides" Jack added. Jesus this furball never shut up. "I have to be going, like, since an hour ago. So if you could please step aside-"

"But Jack, this is important!" Tooth exclaimed, flying near him before going near the gigantic globe spinning leisurely in the middle of the room, filled with flickering lights in every continent. Uh, Jack hadn't seen that thing. "You see, each of those lights is a child"

"A child who believes" North continued, this time completely serious and with a voice slow and strangely soft. "And as guardians, it is our duty to protect them. A new menace has appeared, and it seems Manny has deemed you proper for the job"

Jack stood silent for a while before sighing deeply, running a hand down his face, looking tired all of a sudden. "I know, I know. But as I said, I _really_ don't think I'm made for this job. And I have to leave right now or else-"

"Or what, mate, what is it so important that has you on the tip of your toes" The rabbit huffed, hopping closer to the ice spirit. "This is a serious matter, and as much as I want you to go we can't just waste all this time on you and get nothing for it, I think whatever you need to do can wait a couple of-" He was cut short when, in the middle of the room, right in front of Jack, a small ball of fire materialized from nowhere, catching everyone by surprise, everyone except Jack it seemed, who only flinched and took a step back.

The fireball unfurled and it suddenly wasn't fire anymore, but instead a small green lizard with tiny curved horns and big, flapping wings—a dragon.

The creature searched around until it found Jack, and then launched itself at him, screeching and roaring in something that Jack must have understood, if the nodding and attempts at answering said something.

"I-I know, I just—look I didn't mean to, I swear, just that this bunch kinda kidnapped me and I...what? No! Of course not, I would _never_ skip my turn...okay, just go tell him I'll be there as soon as I can" He waved the dragon away, who in return huffed but nipped playfully at his fingers, before curling back into a flame and disappearing.

Jack sighed and rubbed his forehead, looking at the guardians who were, for lack of a better word, dumbfounded.

Tooth had stopped flying and was tilting her head this way and that, Sandy was signing a mile a minute and North had dropped the book over his foot, not that he noticed. Bunny, who had been in front of Jack a moment ago, had leaped to the other side of the room, and was crouching with with hackles raised and fur on point.

Jack would've laughed if he wasn't in so much shit already.

"...Can I go now? As you can see, I'm already in for a whooping when I get home, I don't wanna make it any worse" He mumbled, slouching against his staff while the Big Four resumed their previous positions.

Sandy shrugged, he was fine with delaying the meeting a while, and Tooth seemed doubtful about it, but then Bunny was at it again, walking carefully back to the spot he was in previous to the dragon's appearance, as if afraid it would appear again and char his whiskers.

"Look kid, I dunno what that was but if you think a little trick is gonna get you off the issue then I-" He interrupted himself when he heard Tooth gasp and Jack's face pale even more, his eyes widening in fear at something right behind Bunny, so when something poked his furry shoulder softly, he sprang away and turned to look at whatever was behind him.

The "whatever" turned out to be a kid. A teen that looked no older than Jack, if only a bit shorter, with a face covered in freckles and a mop of auburn hair falling over his displeased green eyes. He seemed to be wearing an outfit made mostly of dry leaves and green and brown fabric. A pouch was attached to his chest with something bulking from the bag hanging in the front. And was that a metal leg...?

"Sorry for that" He said, glancing at Bunny before stepping up to Jack, and lo and behold, the tiny boy got the Winter sprite to take a few steps back. "What are you still doing here? I sent Sharpshot for you and he comes back and tells me what, that you're with a bunch of people and won't be coming?"

"Hey, I never said that!" He looked at the angry storm in front of him, then at the guardians looking the exchange in silent amazement. "They can tell you! I was just leaving, I swear!" The brunet tapped his foot against the still frozen floor around Jack, melting the ice immediately. "C'mon Hic, I-"

"Shoosh" Hiccup said, raising a finger, before turning around to face the other spirits, his expression changing from angry to a polite smile in seconds. "Sorry about intruding in your home like this. My name's Hiccup, I'm the Chief Spirit of Autumn, and this moron('Hey') had to be home a while ago now. I was just fetching him"

North blinked and suddenly clapped once, laughter erupting from his mouth. "I see! Well, this has all been misunderstanding then. You see, friend, we are having a very important meeting here, and it would be great if you could join us so we could-"

"No"

There was a beat where nobody talked after that, just Jack slightly keening could be heard.

"I'm sorry?" North asked slowly, watching at the Autumn spirit, not quite understanding.

"I said no" Hiccup simply repeated. Tooth was about to say something when she caught sight of Jack slowly shaking his head, trying to get the message across. Don't. Say. A. Word. "I am very busy with my round in the Southern Hemisphere and I need Jack to take care of things at home"

"Listen kid, I know what it is to be busy right now" Bunny said, trying to make out the spirit from what he knew about Autumn beings. "But even if I don't agree with the whole point of this meeting, Frostbite needs to be here right now and maybe even for the next few days until-"

A rustling sound cut him short, both Jack and Hiccup instantly diverting their attention to the bag now trashing in Hiccup's chest, a whine cutting through the air.

"Oh no" The brunet said, not taking his eyes off the pouch as he walked towards the nearest chair, followed swiftly by Jack who stood behind him, watching into the bag with a small smile. "No no no, shhhh, it's okay. Toothless!" He called out towards the window Jack had just opened with the wind.

A scratchy sound preceded the black mass that scrambled to get into the room, its claws scratching the outer wall trying to climb the side of the building. The dragon shook the snow off of his body and trotted to the pair, laying down harmlessly next to Hiccup, allowing Jack to crouch next to him and search for something in the bag attached to the reptile's saddle.

The guardians, having decided to just stand at a respectful distance, stared in wonder how the brunet reached into the pouch and fished out a tiny bundle, squirming and crying, to cradle it in the crook of his arm, rocking it softly when it started crying.

Jack patted Toothless' head before standing, a bottle in his hand. He handed it to Hiccup who promptly gave it to the kid in his arms, the sound of suckling the only thing heard after that.

As if noticing the sudden silence, Jack looked up and blinked a few times at the guardians, who seemed to have migrated from their spot towards them, almost entranced while looking at the kid peacefully feeding in the small spirit's arms.

Tooth was cooing at the baby, her hands in her cheeks as if trying to keep her smile at bay, while Sandy distracted him with small sand figures. North was trying to make out the whole situation silently while Bunny...

Bunny was...smiling? Looking at the kid as if all the wonders he had seen in his uncountable years as a spirit didn't compare to the little infant happily sucking away at the bottle. Jack chuckled and turned his eyes to the brunet, who was too busy with the baby to focus on anything else.

* * *

"So you need to leave, because your boyfriend has to work and you have to take care of your child, is that it?" Bunny asked for the fifth time, the little baby boy cradled carefully in his furry arms.

"Yeah, I was about to get going when you started the whole chasing thing in Burgess. An express kidnapping wasn't precisely in my plans for the night" Jack was sitting on the chair this time, the brunet on his lap watching like a hawk how the Pooka handled his son.

After little Eril had calmed down after eating his fill, he had been really curious about the place he was in and the people watching him; he had touched feathers, pulled beards, disintegrated sand figures with his chubby hands, and had lastly made grabby hands at the big rabbit that looked like one of his toys back at home.

Bunny was more than happy to oblige to holding the baby, grinding his teeth into a purr that resonated through the place and calmed the kid down while he played with the bandolier across the rabbit's chest.

Meanwhile, Jack had taken to explain exactly how the little miracle was possible; how some freaky incident with a Shadow Witch had ended in them being cursed with something they didn't know what it was, but apparently the Witch's plan had backtracked when the news of Hiccup somehow carrying a child were known. Turned out, the fact that Jack was an ice spirit and thus a 'death spirit' didn't mean he was horrified by new life, especially when coming from himself and his lover.

The witch had promptly thrown a tantrum and moved so far away into the underground not even Bunny's tunnels could reach her. Which was kind of a relief actually.

Eril gurgled and waved his arms around, but before Hiccup could stand up Bunny was letting one of his ears drop in front of the baby's face, the small hands trying to catch it. Hiccup sighed and smiled, reaching for Jack's hand when the albino planted a kiss to his temple to calm him down.

"Relax, he's fine there" Jack mumbled against his head, eye hooded from the warm atmosphere that had set into the room. Hiccup hummed and nuzzled his neck.

"I know, but it's hard to not have him on me" He said, noting how his son flashed a gummy smile at the Spring spirit when his tummy was tickled with furry fingers, claws carefully retracted. "Toothless didn't want to come with me to make my rounds until you were back to take care of him"

The dragon raised his head from where it rested on his paws, blinking lazily at his rider and his mate, yawning before standing to wobble towards the lit fireplace, getting inside to lay over the flames and burning wood. Jack chuckled and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend, rocking back and forth in his place.

"Do you wanna leave now? I think you've successfully delayed this meeting" He asked, looking into the green eyes of his partner as he looked up at him, thinking about it.

"Let's...stay for a few minutes more. At least until Eril gets tired, wouldn't want him to get cranky on the way back, you couldn't handle that"

"Hey, I'm more than capable of taking care of my son's tantrums, thank you very much"

Hiccup gave a small 'Ha!' and raised his eyebrows disbelievingly. Jack pouted in response and Hiccup smiled, rolling his eyes as he patted Jack's arms to get free and stand up, followed by the albino. As soon as Jack was on his feet, Hiccup wrapped his arms around his neck and pulled him down, kissing him softly before turning back towards Bunny, carefully taking the baby from his arms. Bunny seemed almost reluctant to let him go, and Jack would never admit how adorable that was.

"Okay, I think it's time to get going" He said, fetching his staff and caressing Eril's almost bald head, the tiniest hint of brown hair showing. "So...if you're still trying to get me to join this thing, just send me a letter, okay? I'll be kinda busy for a couple of months"

"I can help babysit" Bunny blurted out, realizing what he'd just said after a second, flinching at his own eagerness.

Hiccup laughed and patted his arm. "Thank you Aster, but Jack can manage for now" As if on cue, Eril grabbed for Jack's hoodie, pulling until he was safely enclosed in his arms, the spirit nuzzling and kissing his little head lovingly. "But we'll have it in mind"

Bunny seemed almost dejected, but nodded anyway, hopping away to give them more space now that Toothless had gotten out of the fire and was waiting for his master to hop on to go back home.

He did, as soon as the child was back in his pouch and ready to go, Jack standing aside to fly next to them. The dragon jogged to the window, closed to avoid chilling the baby, and waited for Jack to open it before purring his goodbye and waiting for Hiccup to bid his own before jumping out of the windowsill and into the night.

Jack stayed behind, going to the guardians to at least finish the meeting/kidnapping in good terms, and hey, Bunny looked happier than Jack had ever seen. He even shook his hand and everything, wow, the power of children.

With a last general wave, Jack followed his partner's steps and flew off the window, his shadow cut against the moon.

North closed the window and smiled fondly. "Da, we can wait a bit, who knows, we could earn more than one ally in the end" He said aloud, directed to the guardians standing behind him.

Aster coughed, scratching his neck. "You think the ankle-biter will come too?"

The jolly man laughed. "Old friend, we might just have to get you a kit of your own after all this is done"

Bunny huffed and crossed his arms, but smiled nonetheless.


	2. Chapter 2

Jack didn't know who was gurgling more; little Eril while spitting all his mush down his front or Hiccup trying to make funny faces to get him to open his mouth and push it all back in.

He also wasn't sure why it was so endearing that he could literally do nothing more than stand there on the doorway watching his lover and son interact.

"You know, if you're just gonna stand there, I could use some napkins" Hiccup's voice drifted into his ears, slightly distorted from his mouth twisting to distract the little baby.

"Sorry, sorry, just..." Jack drifted off, watching the smaller brunet hold his chubby hands out for him, food dribbling down his chin and all over his bib. "Noooo, you have to stay with mommy until you finish"

"Mommy?"Hiccup turned to glare at him, his lips in a pout.

"Who carried him again?"

The plastic spoon Hiccup had been using stuck to his nose a few seconds after it hit. "Napkins"

Jack sighed but laughed."Okay, okay, I'm on it" He unstuck the spoon from his nose and turned to leave the room towards the kitchen. "Jesus, what a mood, one would think he's expecting again" He muttered under his breath.

"I heard that!"

"Shit"

If one asked either of them if they imagined having a normal, domestic life anytime in their future a few years ago, they would have just shrugged, it wasn't that it wasn't in their plans, living together had been a constant issue since they began their relationship, but none of them thought a kid would be included in the mix.

So obviously, when the news came that Hiccup wasn't just having weird stomach cramps, there was a little stupefaction.

"_OH MY GOD HICCUP STOP THROWING THINGS, YOU'LL HURT YOURSELF!"_

"_YOU DID THIS TO ME YOU SON OF A FUCK! GODDAMNED PIECE OF WORM BUCKET!"_

"Come on honey, let's be reasonable, we can't have you carrying heavy stuff in your condi—PUT THAT TABLE BACK DOWN OR SO HELP ME!"

_..._Okay, maybe more like a nuclear meltdown.

But as the news sunk in, it became easier and easier to picture what life would be like, Hiccup would usually be found with his dragons, letting the creatures nuzzle and warm up his ever growing stomach, and Jack had grown into a frenzy of finding a suitable place to live in, being that both spirits used to stay here and there according to their needs and respective jobs.

They had finally settled down in Hiccup's human life house, or what was left of it after the centuries had hit the island of Berk. Buildings were in the same place as always, but most roofs had caved in and the houses had filled with snow to the brim. Fixing that last part was easy, just a few shots from Toothless and everything was gone in a second. Repairing the house, well, that had taken a bit of hands-on work(Which Jack had insisted Hiccup did none of, to which he promptly received a reminder of why it wasn't a good idea to go against someone pregnant and with a metal leg).

The baby had decided he wanted to see the world a nice warm afternoon in late September, after Hiccup had finished growing mushrooms in the nearby french forests.

He'd been stocking the fire, trying to get it hot enough to make dinner without having to ask a dragon for help, when suddenly the weight of the log in his hands became too much, and he doubled over in pain, the wood hitting loudly against the floor, alerting the black dragon napping upstairs.

Jack had been somewhere in the forest when he heard the distressed cries of the Night Fury.

He definitely didn't expect to come home to his lover on the floor with the most pained expression available in existence on his face.

The whole deal after that had been painful, bloody, messy and, if asked to any of them, the most amazing thing that had ever happened to them as a pair and individually.

Then came the whole 'How do you take care of a baby' issue. Luckily, Mother Nature had been aware of the whole process of the new life growing between the spirits, and had been more than helpful in educating the boys in the whats, hows, whys and etc that needed to be learned regarding their little bundle of joy.

And it had been just a few months after that, on the first days of April, when Hiccup needed Jack home to take care of Eril while he took care of the Southern Hemisphere. But the snow spirit was nowhere to be found.

After sending a messenger to search for him, who came back with no veritable answer, he took his bag, his dragon and his baby, and took off to where Sharpshot had told him he was in.

The guardians couldn't have chosen a better time to kidnap his boyfriend, could they.

"Here you go" Jack handed him the napkins as he crouched to be leveled with the boy in the high chair, the kid gurgling a laugh at the sight of his daddy. "And how is my little ball of drool doing~?"

Hiccup slapped his head softly. "Don't call him that, he'll get used to it" But he smiled nonetheless when Eril screeched in laughter when his tummy got tickled, still dirty mouth stretching in the biggest gummy smile Hiccup had seen since his own dragon's. "Now let's clean you up"

Eril's little hands patted his freckled ones, trying to get the offending object away from his face, turning his face around to avoid his 'mommy' and his white piece of papery doom.

"We could go out for a while, don't you think?" Jack asked while picking up the forgotten plate of baby food and continued to feed it to him. The little brunette locked his hazel eyes on him and dutifully ate every spoon he was given.

"Why does he only eats properly when you give it to him?" Hiccup shook his head, placing his hands on his hips in exasperation. "And what do you mean go out? We just came back from flying around Germany, doesn't that count?"

The winter spirit finishing scooping the last bit of mush. "That was taking Eril for a walk...or flight, whatever" He stood, unstrapping him from his chair and holding him carefully on his hip. "I mean, going out, both of us" He pointed at himself, then at Hiccup. "Like a date, we haven't gone in one in months"

Hiccup hummed, moving to clean the chair while Jack floated around softly as to not upset Eril's stomach. "And what about him? The whole thing about stealing you from the Guardians was so you could keep an eye on him"

"Yeaaaah, good thing you're bringing them up, you see-"

"No"

"Babe I just-"

"No way"

"It's just for the night! I'm sure Bunny would be _ecstatic_ to-"

"Jack if you suggest one more time we leave our baby under the care of the Guardians I'm gonna make sure he doesn't get any siblings in the near or far future"

Jack blinked a couple of times and pointed at him. "You wouldn't do that"

Hiccup smiled and snatched the baby away form him, the little brunet gurgling happily at being handled around."No, I wouldn't" He confirmed, turning his back to Jack."Doesn't mean Toothless wouldn't, though"

Jack looked at the reptile laying around in the ground in front of the fireplace, the dragon opening one sleepy eye at him and grinning eerily with his sharp set of retractile fangs.

The winter spirit yelped and bolted away from the room, chasing after the brunet.

* * *

"Don't worry, he'll be fine" Jack was floating on his back alongside the black dragon carrying his partner on his back, a look of worry on the autumn spirit's face.

"How can you be so sure? As far as we know they haven't been near a non-sleeping kid in ages!" Hiccup retorted, glancing back every few minutes, as if he could perfectly see his house from the French sky they were flying in.

Jack sighed and moved to sit behind him on the saddle, hugging his waist under his customary cape of dried leaves. "Relax, they know what they're doing" He kissed the softly freckled neck in front of him, trying to reassure him. "At least we know Aster wouldn't let anything happen to him, right?"

"For his own good, I hope so" Hiccup said sourly. Suddenly Jack thought if accomplice to guradiancide was penalized by Mother Nature.

* * *

"I'm pretty sure diapers go the other way around, North"

"Toothy, please, I know what I am doing"

"Even I know they go the other way, mate" Aster supplied. "And I don't know if you've noticed, but Pookas don't exactly wear...anything"

It was a miracle the nursery wasn't a downright mess with all the fumbling the Guardians had been doing after Aster's keen nose had detected that Eril had just soiled himself. Finding diapers and then trying to change him was something none of the spirits knew exactly how to do.

North, being the youngest spirit, knew something about taking care of kids, but small babies were a thing not even he was sure how to go about with. Sandy wasn't being very helpful either with his suggestions about dressing the kid with sand.

Luckily Eril was a really patient baby, and didn't mind being naked in the changing table, the house had a nice fire going and getting his little butt cold was not something that would happen anytime soon. He just looked at the big people surrounding him with his wide brown eyes, pulling his foot into his mouth with that ease that nobody could explain babies had.

"Alright, look, I recall Frostbite saying he had a book or something like that Hiccup had given him when all this thing started" Bunny said, dragging a paw down his whiskers. He didn't remember having so much trouble babysitting his relatives' kits eons ago, then again, Pooka babies where way less demanding.

"Oh! Right, I think it was around here" Tooth fluttered around the room, looking around in the small shelf stacked high on the wall. The room-turned-nursery was Hiccup's dad's old room, he'd said he would've loved to have a grandchild in life, so using his room seemed appropriate. Besides, the house wasn't all that big, even for the house of a chief. "Got it!"

The big, thin book with the cartoon babies in the cover was filled with big text and even bigger pictures illustrating exactly how to do everything, step-by-step, obviously made for new fathers rather than mothers, if the blue text and constant reminders to be extra gentle said something.

After that it was easy to go through with the night, except that moment Bunny got a hold of Eril and it took the other three guardians plus a dozen Tooth Fairies and Sharpshot to get him to let go.

"Come ooon, he likes my fur!" He cried after Tooth managed to wrangle him out of his paws.

"I'm sure he does, but you were this close to chinning him" She made a gesture with her thumb and index finger almost touching. "And I don't know Jack, but I'm pretty sure Hiccup would definitely NOT be happy about that"

Aster huffed and crossed his arms, not insisting. He knew new mothers were overprotective about their offspring, and also Hiccup kinda had a dragon, so yeah, no can do.

It was still early after feeding time so North spread his coat on the floor for a makeshift play area for the baby, letting him crawl and roll around it, a Guardian on each side to make sure he wouldn't wander out. Sandy chuckled silently when the brunet tried to grab his sand figures, passing right through them with his chubby hands and cooing at the golden sand stuck to his fingers. There was a minute they thought the boys had arrived when they heard something like a creak, thinking it was the Wind carrying the ice spirit hitting against the wood of the house, until they discovered it was just Bunny grinding his teeth.

He averted his eyes from the baby when he noticed the lack of noise, noticing the others looking at him and then realizing the noise he'd been making. He cleared his throat and stood a bit straighter, trying to look composed while North took out a few wooden toys from his bag, chuckling at the Pooka.

The noise started again after a while.

"No, see, you have to use warm water, mate, they don't like it too hot"

"And what can you know about bathing? All you use is tongue!"

"Guys, please it's not so hard. Nick you should know better than any of us"

"Ha! This bloke probably didn't take a single shower in all his mortal life"

"Da, too busy stealing around continent for meek cleaning"

"Ew"

Needless to say, Sandy was left in charge of bath time, if only because the rest wouldn't stop arguing. He also made sure to dump some water on Nick, just in case.

Eril was a really good baby, didn't make a fuss eating, getting changed, being handled by different people, didn't even cry when the little messenger dragon rough housed with him on the floor.

Baths, it seemed, were another thing altogether.

As soon as his big eyes caught sight of the lukewarm water sloshing in the little baby tub, his grip on the sand clothes tightened to the point of almost disintegrating them, and the cry that echoed around the room was enough to get the other guardians to stop and look their direction.

They were at a loss, the book said there was nothing wrong with the amount or temperature of the water, and there was even something scribbled in red ink in a blank space, most likely written by Jack, that only said DANGER, surrounded by little thunders and drops. Tears.

Sandy looked panicked, looking between the kid in his arms and others, asking for help with his pictures going a mile a minute over his head. He floated away from the tub and placed Eril into North's arms, trying to distract him with more figures with no result. He just kept crying, wriggling around and trying to get away from the water, not even Sharpshot had stayed for the waterworks.

"Oh no no no nononono" Tooth chanted endlessly, dragging her hands down her face, not knowing what to do. Toothless' kids weren't her area, she didn't know what to do with upset babies. "Hey, heeey, shhh, it's okay, umm, do you wanna see something cool?"

"Don't think teeth are gonna work, sheila" Bunny interrupted, seeing her huff and cross her arms, not knowing what to do. "Here, let me try something" He held his arms open for North to give him the baby, and as soon as the crying human was secure in his furry arms, he sat on the floor and started grinding his teeth again, louder than last time.

At first nothing happened, but then Aster accommodated him better against his chest, and the vibrations reached directly into the baby's ears, his cries winding down to little sobs gradually. The relaxing sound had Eril clinging to the rabbit's scruff like a baby opossum, and when all noise coming from him finally stopped, Bunny rearranged him in his hold and, without stopping his purring, dragged his tongue softly over his puffy cheeks, cleaning the tear tracks from his face.

He groomed his face and head slowly, taking his time and making sure he was comfortable all the time before getting up to walk to the tub, keeping it out of the baby's line of sight and reaching for a small towel next to it, dunking it on the water and using it to clean the rest of his body. He wasn't actually sure it would be good to groom him completely, maybe Mommy wouldn't like it that much.

Having gotten accustomed to the rabbit's soft tongue, the wet towel didn't feel much different for Eril, and no fuss was made when the corner of it slowly cleaned his arms and legs, even laughing when it tickled his tummy.

Jack had gone into a first-time-father overdrive and had gotten Jamie to buy as many stuff for him as he could, so it wasn't a surprise to find a whole selection of baby clothes stashed in the little dresser, even a black fluffy pajama to which ears, tail and a couple of little wings had been attached, by Hiccup no doubt, being that it was an exact copy of his Night Fury. They decided to dress him in that one and put him to sleep, which was easy with all the crying beforehand. Little guy was exhausted.

"Bunny, come on, we must clean up" North beckoned him, seeing how the rabbit was still busy trying to tidy up even the things they hadn't touched in their whole stay.

"Nah mate, I'm staying a bit longer. Make sure he doesn't wake up or anythin'" He answered, pointing to the crib where the brunet dozed peacefully, a green pacifier moving softly in his mouth, the hood of the black pj's covering his barely haired head.

Nick chuckled and shook his head, closing the door softly and heading out.

It was a couple hours later when the boys arrived, the flapping of wings and the actual creaking of the Wind against the wood preceding them. The first one to enter was Hiccup, who didn't even bother saying hi before storming to the nursery.

Jack followed, waiting for Toothless to cross the threshold before closing the door behind him. "He guys, sorry for the wait"

North batted his hand dismissively. "Bah! Could have taken longer, we don't mind"

Tooth fluttered alongside Jack as he walked around the pit in the middle of the room. "So, how did it go? Did you guys have fun?"

"Yeah" Jack rolled his shoulders. "At first it was hard, Hic was too worried you would somehow burn the house with water" He chuckled, leaving his staff resting against the wall before sitting down on the staircase. "But then he relaxed and we could go around and have fun, couple of kids saw us too, but the dragon was more interesting that us, it seemed"

Toothless let out something very alike a laugh, nudging his head against the teen's leg.

Jack patted his head. "Yeah, and then we went around a bit, Hic likes the view from the Eiffel Tower, and there was this town in Switzerland that was just screaming for a snowy night, so we had an impromptu snowball fight. Totally kicked my ass"

"Ah yes, only one to beat Jack Frost in snow, that for sure" North chuckled, placing his booted feet near the fire. "Never seen someone missing a leg so at ease with 5 inch deep snow"

"He grew up here, remember? He'd been in cold longer than me" Jack looked around, frowning a bit. "Speaking of Hic, why hasn't he come back yet?"

The Guardians blinked in unison(seriously did they practice or what), and looked towards the door they knew the baby was sleeping in. With Bunny still in there.

"Oh man" Jack muttered. "Tell me the Kangaroo didn't do something stupid" He flash stepped through the narrow corridor to the nursery. "We don't need a new pelt lying around"

The rest of the spirits followed him, Sandy getting ahead just in case the Autumn spirit needed to be held back or something. It proved to be unnecessary, however, when they reached the open door, Hiccup leaning against the frame, looking inside in silence.

Jack reached around him, hugging his waist and peering over his shoulder, stifling a laugh at the sight of Aster standing with his arms crossed over the rail of the crib, his head resting on his arms, eyes closed and purring softly, a light snore coming from his nose.

"He's really beat" Hiccup whispered, bonking his head against Jack's. "Didn't think he could fall asleep on his feet, though"

"He wanted to come the most, it doesn't surprise me he'd end up like that" Jack whispered back, feeling North's steps behind him, Tooth and Sandy silent in the air. "You guys wanna help?"

North stepped forward, his boots squeaking lightly on the wooden boards as he approached the Pooka, poking his droopy ears until the rabbit grumbled and opened an eye to look at his disturber.

"'S too early" He mumbled, trying to get back to sleep. He closed his eye for a couple of seconds before opening both again, turning to focus in the newly arrived couple. "...Oh"

Jack snickered. "Had fun, Cottontail?"

Bunny snorted, following North out of the room as Hiccup entered to check on his son. He closed the door behind him, stretching his arms and back while going to sit by the fire.

"Y'know, If you wanted to spend more time in there you could've told me before we left. It's easy to find places to go nowadays"

Bunny kicked the air in his direction, his ear twitching. "The kid's more fun to be around than you, that I can assure you. No wonder your boy wanted to come home so soon"

"Oh yeah?" Jack grinned. "Did you try giving him a bath?"

The general shudder was enough of an answer. Bunny scoffed. "It ain't so hard if you know how to do it"

"What, you gave him a bunny bath?"

"..."

"...Oh my god you did" Jack covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smirk. "I'm sooo telling on you"

"It was just his face" Bunny defended himself. "He's a hell raiser near water, could've warned a guy 'bout that"

"Yeah, he took that from me" The albino muttered to himself, then turned to the hallway when Hiccup walked through.

"He's sleeping like a rock" He sighed, smiling as he sat in the big chair in the side of the room. "I have to admit, didn't think you guys could handle it"

"Piece of cake"

"It was no trouble, really" Tooth said, ruffling her feathers.

Sandy nodded profusely, agreeing.

"Ankle-biters ain't that big of a deal"

Hiccup chuckled, leaning his head on the armrest as Jack floated to sit on his other side. "Thank you guys. It was nice getting out for a while"

"Not what you were saying earlier" Jack sing-songed, getting a slap to the stomach. "Okay, sorry" He grumbled.

"Would you like anything before you have to leave?" Hiccup ignored him, standing up.

"Nah, we should get going, let you rest and all" Bunny stood as well, followed by the other three.

Hiccup nodded, following them to the door with Jack on tow, waving as they left, Tooth stopped a bit to hug both of them before following North and Sandy outside. Bunny was the last one to go, gathering strength to face the snow he knew was covering all the island outside.

"Good luck, Roo" Jack teased, not in the least sorry for the tick powdery blanket waiting for him outside.

"Oh shut it Snowflake" The Pooka sighed, giving up and heading outside. "Well then, see ya around kid" He nodded to Hiccup, patting his shoulder a couple of times.

Hiccup smiled, suddenly lunging forward and dragging the rabbit down to plant a firm kiss on his fluffy cheek, letting go almost immediately. "Thank you" He repeated, stepping aside to go check on the baby a last time.

Jack sighed, watching him go. "Can you give me one of your feet? I wanna get that lucky"

Bunny snapped out of it, his ears lowering in embarrassment. "Nope, see ya" He said before hoping off to find a place to open a hole, his form swallowed by the earth not a moment later.

Jack snorted and closed the door, fetching his staff and meeting with his boyfriend on the way upstairs to their room. "Hey, what was that about?"

Hiccup shrugged, his hands untying his cape. "He put Eril to bed. Not even you can do that" He snickered at Jack's frown.

"Well yeah but" He circled the crook of the staff around the brunet's waist pulling him closer with a yank. "I can get _you_ to bed, isn't that more interesting?"

The dragon rider raised his eyebrows, letting his cape fall to the ground soundlessly behind him. "Oh yeah?" He wrapped his arms around the pale spirit's neck slowly, bringing his mouth to breath on his ear. "Well, guess what big guy"

"Hmm?" Jack hummed, swapping his staff for his hands around the small waist.

"Tonight...we sleep" Hiccup finished with a small laugh, releasing himself and walking upstairs, the black dragon trotting behind him.

"Wha-? Oh, come ooon"

"If you wake Eril I swear to Odin you'd wish you were mortal just for sweet death to end your agony" Hiccup said nonchalantly, not turning to look at him.

"...Well, sleep it is"


End file.
